What makes you walk out of a movie theatre?

I am a big time movie fan. I enjoy the whole experience of going to theatres right from my childhood days which were highlighted with conical packs of groundnut to now, where they are replaced by popcorn flavored with all sorts of things (chocolate popcorn, really?) and fancy nachos(guilty of loving those). I appreciate good movies wholeheartedly down to the minutest details. I am kind to simple, original movies and bash the ones that are badly made.
Now I am at a loss of words when I try to categorize iWoz in terms of movie lover or hater. I would rather say he has this movie loving phase where he ends up watching 3 movies back to back and movie hating phase where he just cannot stand any kind of movies. He says that is because once he starts watching a movie he has to get to its end by any means and if it is a badly made one, it leaves him cheated. Thankfully I can walk out of a badly made one. But that doesn’t stop me from switching on the TV and ‘trapping’ him to watch a movie when he wants to go out and I am in no mood. Which assures that I can sleep for the next 3 hours while he sits glued to the TV!
But some movies can make iWoz walk out and that really is something. Like the last one we watched. I found myself staring open-mouthed at other people guffawing whereas the humor could not evoke the slightest smile from us. That’s serious since iWoz told me that I must be the only person in this world who can laugh at the silliest of the silly jokes ever made. And hearing a joke from me is a terrible experience. I crack up every now and then thinking about it hardly able to narrate it. It goes something like this
‘Once a man …*he he he*…and then he said …*tee hee heee*…to which his wife said…* he he he he*And then they..*HA HA HA HA*’And the blank face of the listener make me laugh all over again.
Pathetic. I know.
But not as pathetic as that movie I tell you. I was irritated by its attempt to make me laugh. It was filled with sorry excuses of ‘toilet humor’ that bordered on the verge of being vulgar (We are talking about a family entertainer here). It had this boring way of narration where every character was over explaining stuff. And it made me jump with irritating dub-step and trance music with no connection to what was going on in the screen. But Strangely enough there were people who seemed to be enjoying the same movie. So that brings me to the conclusion its different for different people. How else could you stand through something like this?-
‘Hero goes to the Public Sharing restroom following a knock out girl, and then takes the lipstick she left on the counter to draw lip marks on his body to irk the guy she is with. Irked guy and hero start punching each other. That guy belonged to a gang. The gang members come to the Hero’s house in the dead of night in a Hummer just to blow up a few windows and his parents are scared out of their wits and sends him packing to their native land with a moron friend. The hero refuses to stay in the modest accommodation arranged for him and checks into a five-star hotel only to find his credit card blocked by dad. In between he jumps into a pool and flexes muscles which are covered in various camera angles. ‘
This was punctuated with painfully suffocating comedy sequences and loud BGM. And what followed was me and iWoz walking out to go back home and catch some sleep. I don’t care if what followed was earth shattering. If you cannot impress me in the first 20 minutes of your movie, you could have at least restrained from irritating me.
So what makes you walk out of the theatre?

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Tagged with: badly made movies, groundnut, irritated at the theatre, movie jokes, movie theatre experience, Musings, Musings of UR, nachos, popcorn, walk out of movie, walk out of theatre, Writing
Posted in Musings